Wednesday, December 07, 2011
1.5
tag replies.
daryl: i know what you mean.. but the moment i reach camp, i just don't feel like moving and exercising. it's a very sian feeling, just wanna nua in camp. -.-
e-hui: it's damn annoying lor. when i delete those messages right, some of them "IP already banned". then still can tag. WTH.
one month since i blogged! wow!
suddenly it's less than two weeks ago to the trip. people say time flies when you're enjoying yourself. but i really wasn't.. time still flew. at first it was slow and torturous. but now it's like i've kinda gotten used to it -.- leading a silly and boring life. with iphone apps to occupy my time. using my leaves and offs to go hcult training. maybe in time to come, i'll look back at these one year and ask myself, why did i not do anything else that was useful? useful to society, useful to myself. not just play and leisure and zuo-bo-ing. is one year a lot?
it's nearly the end of the year. looking back one year ago, i would say that perhaps i can think better now. not that i'm smarter or what, but that i think now i know how to deal with a lot of stuff better than last year. the slow and boring and mundane pace of life that i've been living in for this one year, i guess it gave me lots of time to stare into blank space. but on better days, i find that i sometimes kinda enlighten myself in certain issues. hm. have i really? maybe i'm just trying to make myself feel better about this wasted year...
one of those quotes that i came across this year while randomly surfing the net as usual. "the money in your bank is not yours, until you spend it." i quoted it to my sisters. neither of them understood it. not surprising. but anyway, it made me rethink about why i've always been VERY STINGY about stuff related to money and such. i can say partly it's because of my parents, how they drilled and drilled into me that money is hard-earned etc etc when i was really young. how they had flatly refused to buy me ANY games at all, until i learnt to just stop thinking about it. how tidbits and drinks were a waste of money. but then when i grew older, into the secondary sch days, my dad started telling me to be more generous. don't save so much money etc. and then i'm like WTH?! cannot accept it. so i continued my stingy ways which never felt like stingy to me last time HAHA. anyway, i'm still quite stingy now, so whatever. but at least, from my own perspective, i think i've improved. hm. but i think my generosity (if there is) varies quite significantly from person to person. actually, everyone is like that right?
anyways, to enjoy the trip properly, obviously i should heck care the amount spent. but it's not so easy to heck care it... honestly honestly speaking, i felt really sour initially. when certain plans changed and the price suddenly just ^^^^. but idk.. the feeling just kinda faded away the more i wanted to go over. i really really want to enjoy the trip. but i'm not confident that'll be the case. hai.
haven't really gotten down to packing yet. will probably be nagged to pack during this weekend. which i would try to do so anyway, even without being nagged to. but if i fail to do so, it'll be down to the usual last minute rush. not like there's too much stuff to pack in anyway. more or less know what to bring already. the important thing is still to adjust my feelings and how i feel about this trip! and how to bring the most optimal emotional state there such that i will totally enjoy it :D but EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY, how to adjust my body clock and sleeping cycle to fit the time difference there. that's one scary thought really.
maybe i'll just NOT SLEEP the night before i fly. that might work. but i shouldn't be practising it now, so off i go to bed!
ranted @ 11:36 PMSi Jie-
