Wednesday, December 07, 2011
1.5
tag replies.
daryl: i know what you mean.. but the moment i reach camp, i just don't feel like moving and exercising. it's a very sian feeling, just wanna nua in camp. -.-
e-hui: it's damn annoying lor. when i delete those messages right, some of them "IP already banned". then still can tag. WTH.
one month since i blogged! wow!
suddenly it's less than two weeks ago to the trip. people say time flies when you're enjoying yourself. but i really wasn't.. time still flew. at first it was slow and torturous. but now it's like i've kinda gotten used to it -.- leading a silly and boring life. with iphone apps to occupy my time. using my leaves and offs to go hcult training. maybe in time to come, i'll look back at these one year and ask myself, why did i not do anything else that was useful? useful to society, useful to myself. not just play and leisure and zuo-bo-ing. is one year a lot?
it's nearly the end of the year. looking back one year ago, i would say that perhaps i can think better now. not that i'm smarter or what, but that i think now i know how to deal with a lot of stuff better than last year. the slow and boring and mundane pace of life that i've been living in for this one year, i guess it gave me lots of time to stare into blank space. but on better days, i find that i sometimes kinda enlighten myself in certain issues. hm. have i really? maybe i'm just trying to make myself feel better about this wasted year...
one of those quotes that i came across this year while randomly surfing the net as usual. "the money in your bank is not yours, until you spend it." i quoted it to my sisters. neither of them understood it. not surprising. but anyway, it made me rethink about why i've always been VERY STINGY about stuff related to money and such. i can say partly it's because of my parents, how they drilled and drilled into me that money is hard-earned etc etc when i was really young. how they had flatly refused to buy me ANY games at all, until i learnt to just stop thinking about it. how tidbits and drinks were a waste of money. but then when i grew older, into the secondary sch days, my dad started telling me to be more generous. don't save so much money etc. and then i'm like WTH?! cannot accept it. so i continued my stingy ways which never felt like stingy to me last time HAHA. anyway, i'm still quite stingy now, so whatever. but at least, from my own perspective, i think i've improved. hm. but i think my generosity (if there is) varies quite significantly from person to person. actually, everyone is like that right?
anyways, to enjoy the trip properly, obviously i should heck care the amount spent. but it's not so easy to heck care it... honestly honestly speaking, i felt really sour initially. when certain plans changed and the price suddenly just ^^^^. but idk.. the feeling just kinda faded away the more i wanted to go over. i really really want to enjoy the trip. but i'm not confident that'll be the case. hai.
haven't really gotten down to packing yet. will probably be nagged to pack during this weekend. which i would try to do so anyway, even without being nagged to. but if i fail to do so, it'll be down to the usual last minute rush. not like there's too much stuff to pack in anyway. more or less know what to bring already. the important thing is still to adjust my feelings and how i feel about this trip! and how to bring the most optimal emotional state there such that i will totally enjoy it :D but EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY, how to adjust my body clock and sleeping cycle to fit the time difference there. that's one scary thought really.
maybe i'll just NOT SLEEP the night before i fly. that might work. but i shouldn't be practising it now, so off i go to bed!
ranted @ 11:36 PMSi Jie-
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
weak resolves
today as i walked by my camp's running track, i thought to myself. am i really going to aim for gold? am i really going to put myself to that insane interval training again? every other day? i thought to myself that i should just be contented with a silver. and live my slack life the way it is now.
i'm such a loser. hai. where's my resolve?! i need a motivation. and that extra $100 apparently isn't enough. :/
i just need to get started. someone somewhere, push me please!
ranted @ 11:01 PMSi Jie-
Monday, November 07, 2011
5.5
tag replies.
jingyi: no money no stock! :D
frosticfire: cleared already! i only clear when i'm posting :)
haiii my training plan has taken a big hit since i haven't done any training in the past 2 weeks. stupid stupid stupid illness. i think i'm finally recovering alrdy. this time, western medicine worked its wonders! i have no idea how i'm gonna hit <9:14 in 5 weeks' time in my current state. probably lost some weight thanks to this bout of flu plus the lack of training would have returned me to square one before i started my intervals. zzz! i guess it's not entirely impossible. i could go running every day like during course time. but that's plain self-torture!!! D: or every other day? haii this is frustrating. i planned a weekly programme coz i didn't wanna train so frequently. but i guess i have no choice but to do it. all for that extra $100. argh.
i can get silver easily. but the PTI gold really must train for it. hai. guess if i wanna take, i should book soon? or leave it till feb. wth wth wth nonono. confirm cannot. CNY period sure eat bak kwa like a pig. hai. it's either i be happy with $100 for silver. or train hard for that extra $100. guess it's worth it. time to buck up and run more now..
my birthday just came and passed. watched killer elite with eugene. i neither find it nice nor not nice lol. would have been better with subtitles though. their accent damn hard to catch :/ there was supposed to be a birthday dinner though i didnt attend it in the end. looooong story haha. but i think i made the right choice ba. it would have been way too awkward..!
in any case, it's already november. i've been 20 years old for quite a few days already. it's scary to think that i'm already in the 20s region. frankly because of all the frightening scenarios you start to think of. like when i turned 10, i didnt think much of it. because when you're still in that 10s region, you're still schooling, nothing much changes. take each day as it comes. and poof, all of a sudden, ten years have passed. so quickly, too quickly. thinking of the next ten years is rather frightening. or should i say, thinking of how fast it's gonna pass.
being 20 comes with a lot more decision-making and responsibilities. impending adulthood. it's funny how we spend our childhood hoping to become adults, and now i'm turning adult, i don't want it to happen. i think it's good to break up my life into the decades. just to look at it, and perhaps you can see what you want in various phases from there. like what do i want to achieve before i turn 30. something of a long short-term preview.
freaking weird to imagine that in the next ten years, i'll be starting work. trying to backstab and sabo people so i can get promoted. LOL of course not. but yeah, i'll be trying really hard not to get backstabbed and sabo-ed so i have a smooth-sailing career. speaking of which, i can't even imagine me working. because i don't have a job in mind. materials engineering related? i also dunno where i'll end up. there's still so much uncertainty ahead, i guess that's what makes life more interesting! but after working in the RSAF, i'm a little wary of the workforce out there. just how many more STUPID AND RETARDED AND JIA-BA-BO-DAI-JI-ZO people will i meet? not really looking forward to it. hm.
k enough of my next-ten-year series. i guess i'll continue taking it one step at a time like i've always been and pray that i'm on the right track. as long as i don't regret my decisions, i should be fine. though i foresee that i'll have to make some future plans in the few years to come. not my style, totally. but i think it's necessary.
alright goodnight world!
ranted @ 11:05 PMSi Jie-
Thursday, October 27, 2011
7
tag reply.
jingyi: LOL it wasn't meant for anyone to realise :P
week 1: 6 X 400m. 1:30 per set.
week 2: 7 X 400m. 1:30 per set.
week 3: 8 X 400m. 1:30 per set.week 4: 3 X 800m. 3:00 per set.
week 5: 3 X 800m. 3:00 per set.
week 6: 4 X 800m. 3:00 per set.
week 7: 2 X 1.2km. 4:30 per set.
week 8: 2 X 1.2km. 4:30 per set.
week 9: 1 X 2.4km. <9:00. :D
week 10: IPPT GOLD
didn't manage to do any training this week. reason being that i'm feeling sick. lol out of the 5 people who went JB with me, 2 are already quite ill. guess i'm the 3rd one oops. guess i'll try and do two trainings next week. gotta recover fast. not much time left to train. argh.
7 weeks. suddenly it doesn't seem so much longer. come to think of it, 7 weeks is seriously quite short. i've gotta go exchange USD soon. and buy winter wear and stuff. not even prepared for such a long trip. long trip meaning long hours on the plane, not long holiday. feel like bringing books to read. but zelia said it'll add to the luggage weight significantly which is quite true. i'm more afraid of spamming iphone games until my batt dies before half the trip lol. maybe can charge during transit HAHA.
i'm rather scared that i'll leave everything to the last minute. being the last minute person i am. G_G i'm keeping tabs on my bank account. hope it doesn't deplete too much when i come back, to the extent that i have to work full time after ORD-ing. at least i'll still have two months worth of NS pay after the trip. time to save up save up SAVE UP!!!!!!!
ranted @ 10:46 PMSi Jie-
Thursday, October 20, 2011
8
and it's getting closer all the time. 8 more weeks to go!
week 1: 6 X 400m. 1:30 per set.
week 2: 7 X 400m. 1:30 per set.
week 3: 8 X 400m. 1:30 per set.week 4: 3 X 800m. 3:00 per set.
week 5: 3 X 800m. 3:00 per set.
week 6: 4 X 800m. 3:00 per set.
week 7: 2 X 1.2km. 4:30 per set.
week 8: 2 X 1.2km. 4:30 per set.
week 9: 1 X 2.4km. <9:00. :D
week 10: IPPT GOLD
i did my training only today as the past two days were raining badly. and i failed rather badly too. this is week 3 of my training. supposed to do 8 X 400m. but i went ahead and did week 4's programme instead. and failed terribly. zomg. D:
first set of 800m, ran a 3:00 exact. second set was a 3:02. could tell i was dying alrdy. zomg. D: third set was the failure. i couldn't continue after running just 400m which i clocked 1:28 for. haiii. so i only did 2km in total today. cuiiii.
ashamed of myself zomg. next week, maybe i'll punish myself by doing one more training session. if not, i'll stick to my week 4's training prog of 3 X 800m. and hope i don't fail again.
despite doing today's training at 10am which was alrdy kinda hot, i thought i could meet the requirements. siannnn. seems like i need way lots more training to hit my course time standards. time to buck up!
ranted @ 10:52 PMSi Jie-
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
define normal.
i feel a little philosophical today. after recent happenings in camp. or rather, recent gossiping in camp.
it's funny how we despise/ostracise/outcast people when they're not "normal" compared to the rest. or rather, in other words, the minority is seen as abnormal. a simple search on google defined normal as: "Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected." so i guess we are therefore JUSTIFIED to say that the minority is not normal? since the meaning of the word itself already excludes the atypical, the unusual, and the minority.
in recent weeks, my office people, including me, have discovered (to our delight and disgust) a few gay people in our camp. we had sources, so our discovery was like, by verbal means. anyway, the stories we've heard thus far, were greeted by both curiosity for more, and at the same time, utter disgust. the funny thing is how, some of us are so curious and want to hear more, but at the same time, think that these people should all just disappear. :/
for me, i'm honestly really really curious to know like, how gays see things, and how different they are from us, the
normal people. and i got one answer today, when i asked a certain someone today this question.
me: so do you find girls attractive?
him: er. looks only lor. but not sexually.
hm. which i guess is the same as normal people? it's like, okay, i can find that this guy looks handsome, but not sexually attractive to me! which tells me pretty much that, they're not so much different from us what. so what's with the outcasting and despise etc?
but the disgust comes when well, he talked about the uh various ***ual experiences he had. i guess i really can't accept it but at the same time i wonder whether he finds the "normal way" disgusting?
i always find that when we try to put ourselves in people's shoes and think, we would perhaps understand where they're coming from, though we might not understand how they feel, fully. like from his perspective, he'd see that he's normal, and that we're the abnormal ones. though perhaps he's long been pressurised by us to BELIEVE that he himself is the abnormal one, which truthfully speaking is really sad for anyone. what if it so happens that YOU were born that way?
hm that being said, i think if i found out that a gay likes me, i'd still feel very gaowei. so i'm not like totally acceptive of that concept yet. but i believe it's only right that we don't look at them with those tinted glasses like what a lot of ppl are doing. (in camp i mean.) and i find that it's very very demeaning and insulting to like group them like that and allocate them an "inferior status" just because they're gays. what difference is that from voldemort implementing the blood status thing to sort out muggle-borns and pure-bloods?
even though i talk so much, there are still some things that i really find unacceptable. that i will still find WEIRD or ABNORMAL. though i suppose being gay isn't really one of those pet peeves anymore. i'm not perfect, and therefore i understand why people find gays weird and abnormal. but if people all try to understand each other and not despise just because others are different, the world would be less biased and a much gayer/happier place to live in.
nice pun to end off my post ;)
ranted @ 10:41 PMSi Jie-
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
training week 2
week 1: 6 X 400m. 1:30 per set.
week 2: 7 X 400m. 1:30 per set.week 3: 8 X 400m. 1:30 per set.
week 4: 3 X 800m. 3:00 per set.
week 5: 3 X 800m. 3:00 per set.
week 6: 4 X 800m. 3:00 per set.
week 7: 2 X 1.2km. 4:30 per set.
week 8: 2 X 1.2km. 4:30 per set.
week 9: 1 X 2.4km. <9:00. :D
week 10: IPPT
GOLDi so wanted to stop at 6 rounds just now. and i'm so proud of myself now that i didn't. there's really this awesome feeling of like self-pride when you complete your training plan. had stitch at the start of my 6th round. probably coz i ate a small chocolate roll and drank some water 10 mins before my training LOL. but yup, that's week 2 done. next up is 8 rounds of 400m zomg.
there were two rounds today, which i came in at 1:31. haha crappy. damn perfectionist la me. but really damn tiring. i'm getting used to the 9 mins pace again. judging from my rounds, all of which were completed between 1:29 - 1:31. damn zhun! only thing now is sustainability. train train train train.
and 12 pull ups? argh. i think i can do 10 really really standard ones when i'm not tired. but yesterday i did only 8 standard ones at home and nua alrdy. cuiiiiii. though i think i can like struggle and force my way up to 11 or maybe even 12. but being a pti, i shouldn't even think about doing sub-standard ones haiii.
maybe i should start going go the gym and do lat pulldowns. siannnn.
okay time to sleep!
ranted @ 10:40 PMSi Jie-
Monday, October 10, 2011
10/10/2011
it's been 3 years. :D been through a lot, and came through it all. just glad for everything!
GHS was kinda random, so to speak. we formed a really really random team. we had j1s, j3s, and us the j4s. and the team's objectives were very very different. in that, i guess people like danette and kevin just wanted to play for fun. while (i think) kanzy, lincoln and i wanted to play and win. think we shouldn't anyhow form such a mixed team like that. there were times when i was so frustrated with some screw-ups but then i just kept cooling myself down by telling myself it's just for fun. :/
but it doesn't make sense to pay $15 to play for fun, AND lose my new disc (SUO2011). honestly, what's with this world. what's with all the discs-stealing. like come on, if yours got stolen, do you have to steal one back? argh. i feel so pissed off with whoever took my disc and didn't return it. i wrote eatdisc 14 behind that disc. and hopefully that whoever is decent enough to return it to eatdisc somehow. if it was intentional theft, then curse you. i was honestly quite sianned by the whole thing. my stolen disc, i mean. luckily i was smart enough not to take out my beloved berkeley disc to the fields. freaking hell, if my berkeley disc was stolen, i'll make sure i stop the whole damn event and search every single person and their belongings. screw those no morals idiots.
if i ever decide to bring a disc to a competition again, i'll make sure it doesn't leave my sight for a second. that's the second disc i've lost at a competition. that makes $30 gone.
rant over. and the day is ending soon too. D: sucked to spend this day without you, but there'll always be more 10/10s to come!
9.5 more weeks to go! :D
Labels: 10/10
ranted @ 10:10 PMSi Jie-
